I have a lot of respect for single mothers. First of all, I think it’s very brave to decide to keep a pregnancy in our part of the world without a husband. One of my biggest fears in life growing up was getting pregnant outside wedlock. I do not want to imagine or think about what I will go through or even do if I ever found myself in that situation. My older sister happened to fail some major papers in her final Senior High School Certificate Examination and I saw the pain she went through in the house. She couldn’t even breathe without being reminded of how she was at home and not in the university like her mates. She couldn’t eat in peace, laugh, try to peep at the television. Her male friend visited her one time and I remember how my dad advised the young man to aspire to be a great person in future instead of wasting his time with girls who have failed exams. Yes! So, you can imagine what will happen if you got pregnant in a house like mine. My mum had a way of advising us about staying away from premarital sex that looked more like a threat than advice…hahaha. Sometimes she went the dramatic and emotional way of almost crying as she told us about herself and how she didn’t complete her vocational school because she got pregnant and her uncle stopped taking care of her.
The thought of being the talk of the family, friends, neighbours and the church alone could stop me from getting involved in any naughtiness. There is this thing I always say, that if I get pregnant outside wedlock, I will run away to Togo. Stay there until my child is 5 years and come back to Ghana. Ask me why? I can’t imagine my Senior Pastor announcing in front of the entire congregation that I got pregnant. We’ve seen him cry making such announcements and I don’t want to be a reason for him to cry. Hmmm! So when I heard a friend from church was pregnant and that she actually kept the baby I was so proud of her. She was willing to go through all the “shame” when in actual sense; she did the noble thing of keeping the baby instead of aborting like what a lot of people in her situation do. That’s the same way I felt about another senior high school mate on mother’s day. She posted a picture of her two beautiful girls and herself. What made me respect her was the caption on one of her pictures where she tells her story about being asked to abort the pregnancy but she decided beyond all odds to keep the baby. If you’ve never had a baby, you would think keeping one baby outside wedlock is okay, but this was going to be her second child as a single mother and she still decided to keep the baby. I think it’s a bold decision she took being in our part of the world. My respect for her increased as I read her caption; to me, the fact that she was courageous enough to put it out there alone showed how brave she was. If I found myself in her situation, I think I would probably be hiding in my shell somewhere but there she was facing the world. There’s this way some people view single mothers in this part of the world that annoys me eh. ‘Eiii she has a child and she’s not married’… so what?
I believe no child is a mistake. No matter how they come into the world, they are never a mistake. God says in His Word that “before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. Unless I don’t understand this, because God says before the baby was formed; before the woman had sex outside wedlock God knew that child. So, your sexual activity outside marriage is wrong, but that baby in your womb is not wrong. I don’t know if I’m making sense. It’s not that child’s fault. The child cannot pay for your mistakes. Why get rid of an innocent child? No matter the reasons people give, I can never agree with aborting an innocent child. On Thursday I found an old movie on my laptop titled October Baby. The summary of the movie is that a girl finds out she’s adopted and decides to find her real mum. In the process of looking for her mum she finds out, her mum tried aborting her which didn’t work and eventually left her immediately she was born. The movie ended with the girl sending her real mum a note saying “I forgive you”. I thought about how this beautiful girl would never have lived this life if the abortion had been successful. She was given a chance to live.
Single mothers choose to give their babies a chance to live despite the shame they have to go through. The neglect some have to endure. They go through all these when it is obvious the ride won’t be smooth but for the love for their unborn child. Life will definitely be much easier living a single life but these ladies choose to go through hardship to give life to a child. I believe it is one of the reasons why Mother’s Day is such a big deal because we have a lot of single mothers who did everything in their might to see their children live and to be happy.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I really wanted to write something for Mother’s Day but nothing came to mind. I guess I’m now ready to post my Mother’s Day write up.
This is dedicated to mothers who make life easier and worth living especially to single mothers. You rose beyond the criticism. You held your head high beyond the finger-pointing. You worked twice harder against all odds. You did all that for that child. God bless you for that. No matter what mistake you do, please keep that little one alive because God knows him or her by name. And guess what, he has a special purpose for that kid. You think I’m lying, go read about Jephthah in the Bible.
Happy Mothers’ Day, Brave Mums!