Some of us never seem to find the right ones. Not that the ones we date are bad. Don’t get it wrong. We love them with almost all our hearts but we just can’t help thinking why we couldn’t find that particular guy we dreamed of. That tall, six-pack abs, gorgeous guy with the beard. That guy you can have an intellectual conversation with and find sexy at it. We always find them with someone else except us. For a friend I know, that white dude. They are always walking with other girls but not her. She can’t even get one of them to look her way. It’s just the very dark guys who keep smiling at her.. Please don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know how you never end up with a rich guy, but you keep on hearing of rich young guys proposing to their girlfriends with cars and land documents, and you are like God where did I pass? So even though we really love our cute babies, we sometimes wish we could cast a spell on them and make them the kind of men we dreamed of. Oh! If wishes were horses!!

When Mansa was in the university, she dated this young man. He was her kind of guy. She thinks she was happy with him back then, so she had eyes for him and no one else thought they were having issues. However, someone also had eyes for her and no one else. This guy was also cute but not her kind of guy. He was in his final year whiles she was in the second year. She remembers the first time she noticed him. He was staring at her from a distance. He didn’t take his eyes off her. It was exciting in the beginning. So she actually started talking to him but he was weird. He made her feel awkward around him. He could stare at her just too much and he used to talk about things her twenty-year-old self couldn’t come to terms with. Mansa always had a problem with relationships, commitments and the idea of “belonging” to just one person used to freak her out. So when this guy was talking to her about their future together with their wonderful children at age 20, it was a whole lot to take in. Yes, he was a writer, one thing she liked about him then but he was just too serious for her liking. He didn’t look like the fun type so he definitely wasn’t for her but to him she was. Even though he treated her with respect, told her he loved her, he wasn’t the one. He was the wrong one loving her right!!!

Baffour had to choose between two ladies, Mansa and Ewuraba. Mansa was his kind of girl. The perfect body shape, a little bit of everything and she was exciting whenever he spoke to her. She liked reading so there was a lot to talk about when he went over to visit her. She could express how she felt about him and though she saw him just as friends and nothing else, he couldn’t help but fall for her because she was everything he wasn’t and it tickled something in him.

Ewuraba, as her name connotes, was a lady by nature – Wife material 12 yards, lol. The Proverbs 31 kind of woman. She respected Baffour, was always there for him and encouraged him to be his best. He never visited her and left without eating, unlike Mansa. She made sure he was well-fed. A lot of guys would give anything to have Ewuraba by them or even be friends with them because she is  “obaapa” , a good woman. And yes she also loved Baffour. Baffour, on the other hand, loved Mansa. When the wrong one loves you right!

For years I have kept thinking about this. How you can get someone loving you for no reason when the ones you expect to don’t. You can love a woman who will be seeing you as a brother and rather be falling for a silly guy and vice versa. The annoying part is they come telling you everything that’s happening in the relationship. The wrong one loving you right! It is annoying because sometimes it looks like you are flexing the one who loves you but genuinely you don’t love them in the way they do or expect you to and there’s nothing you can do about it. I guess that’s how the world works sometimes. It’s full of stories like this. We all have one and we will live with the decision we make of the person we end up married to. Whether it’s the person whose love you couldn’t requite or not. We would. 

So what I’m I saying is even though most of us end up with people we never thought in our wildest dreams that we could end up with, the decision to make them the right ones lie with us. Yes, they could be the wrong ones, but if they are loving right, then what’s your business with the right ones who are not even looking your way?! The right ones who keep breaking your heart with lies and deceit. The right ones who see you as the wrong one. Why would you waste time thinking about that right guy or girl and all the right things you could be doing with them, when they don’t even think of you in a month!

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This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Touche. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the great spirit.

    1. Thanks

  2. Interesting write up… what you like might not be what you need.

    1. Hmmm

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