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Lets talk about love after all val’s day is here . . .

Reality had dawned on me. What if he was positive? Would it mean everything will come to an end? I really loved this one. The thought of our relationship coming to an end scared me. The medical doctor was a lovely woman. She was excited to know about my relationship and advised me. We were having a great chat until my sickle cell status came up. My dad always tells me how I need to marry a guy who is not  sickle cell negative. “He should be AA”, my dad would say. I had taken it lightly till that day in the consulting room. As I walked back to my hostel, I could not stop thinking. In as much as I tried to act normal that day, one could tell something was eating me up. That evening I asked my boyfriend what his sickling status was. He didn’t know. He took it lightly. Tried brushing it off but I won’t let him be. He told me he will find out and let me know.

As I feared, he was positive. After dragging our feet for  awhile about a decision we were going to make sooner or later, we broke up. Why waste your strength, emotions and time on a relationship that wasn’t going to work. You would think I had learnt my lesson about researching on a guy before falling in love. No, I didn’t. I ended up in a relationship with another guy who was sickle cell positive. This guy however was different. He wasn’t ready to let our love go down the drain. He was ready to marry me. Even prepared to have sickle cell children and be there for me. It sounded great. But in the mist of other factors, I didn’t plan to let my children go through the pain I did as a child and do now even as an adult. Yeah, so this one also went down the drain.

This one made me cautious. I was not going to allow myself fall in love with another sickle cell positive guy. I put relationships on a hold. I needed time to get over all those exes. To get over the reason I had to break up especially with the first. There was nothing wrong with the relationship. He was faithful and he loved me. There was absolutely nothing wrong with the relationship. But i guess that’s  how life can screw you up sometimes.

and there was a guy . . .

In the mist of all this, there was a guy. He wasn’t my kind of guy. He wasn’t tall. He was criff (very spiritual). He was just too calm. I like them a bit naughty. So he happened to be a great friend. I saw him as nothing but a friend. Over the years, our relationship has grown. We have become more than friends and not in a love relationship either. We are that close now. From my previous experiences, I wasn’t going to repeat the previous mistake. I pestered him to go and have a test done to know his sickle cell status. He had to because I realized out of the blue that he meant more to me now. I didn’t want to call it love till I knew his sickle cell status. Like the guy he is, he took it lightly. But after nagging him for weeks he finally did it. And there it was NEGATIVE.

one of the few times I LOVED hearing negative LOL

Such a relief to meet a sickling negative guy. Ok, so now the irony of the issue is this, he hasn’t said he loves me. But I know he has a thing for me. So even though I believe in what is meant to be will be, for once in my life, I’m not taking the risk of may be it’s not meant to be. I am going for it.

Have you experience broken heart before? Lets talk in the comments section 🙂

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